EliseNicci: too bad i'm not there to join u
EliseNicci: ;-)
Dr Claw09: are you all dirty too?
Dr Claw09: wait you are always dirty ;
Dr Claw09: )
EliseNicci: haha
EliseNicci: u have a dirty ming
EliseNicci: mind
Dr Claw09: so do you!
EliseNicci: yeah, so?
Dr Claw09: exactly!

lost... confused... and a bit unhappy... i need him. i want him. and i don't know how to tell him...

i've been neglecting you, but you have been neglecting me so we're even. nothing too new has been happening i guess. orientation starts tomorrow. siked about that. i just hope i don't oversleep. mike stopped by my house yesterday. he's soo the coolest. i hurt my knee. i think from moving into my new apartment. it's a little swollen. the dr. said i should ice it and try and keep off it as much as possible. yeah, that's not gonna happen this weekend.

"where's my one and only someone?" -- amanda peet, saving sliverman

so my 20th b-day has come and gone....
i wanted to go to the van nuys airshow for my b-day (on the day before), it was the only thing i wanted... but it wasn't this past weekend, when i thought it was. so i went home and wasted 17 dollars to see my parents for all of 18 hours. i did go to the santa monica museum of flight. that was fun, not very big though. went to the brown pelican for dinner on saturday. good food, freaky waiter. once he found out i was there for my b-day he started acting all weird. he was like a philsopher/psycho guy. very odd. didn't do anything that nite after my mom left. on sunday (my actual b-day) i had to work. that sucked, just cuz it was my b-day. but rose brought me cake and got me a present (the only person to do so besides my immediate family). went to a bbq at rose's after work. that was yummy. watched a couple movies too. and hung with cutie robert too. ended up crashing there cuz we were all tired, and freaked out cuz we had just watched mothman prophecies. went to work this morning. patty in the admin office got me a cake too. that was yummy. tex is back, ran into him on the way to work. definetely looking as hot as ever (damn! i'd like to date him) . also saw ucen cutie ryan. flirted with him a little, as usual. geez he's soo cute. so my b-day was sorta lame, except for the eye candy and good food. which isn't that bad.
it could have been worse.

3 days...
i hate birthdays. they suck. they really really do. they will always suck. I HATE BIRTHDAYS!!!!

grades came out today. fuck! shit! damn! i'm screwed!

i think my feet are shrinking

ok, so nebraska sucked ass. well it was ok... until i got food poisoning and puked my guts out. DO NOT EVER EAT THE BONELESS BUFFALO WINGS FROM OLD CHICAGO. nuff said. also, there's nothing to do there. nothing at all. except look at corn. lots and lots of corn. i did see a stealth bomber though. 2 actually. it was way cool. flew right over our heads. i have 13 cousins in nebraska. way too many. i only know like half of their names. hmm... i'm trying to think of other things to say about nebraska, but there isn't anything. it was waaayyy lame. oh well. i'm glad i went i guess, it will be my only vacation this entire summer.
my birthday's on sunday. i'm hoping to go home on saturday for the air show at van nuys airport. i love air shows. oh well, if i think of anything else to say i'll come back.
oh, one last thing... while in nebraska i had a lot of time to do a lot of thinking. that boy i've been slightly discussing here lately. damn i want something to happen between us. one of the times i saw him last week we ran into each other while i was studying with a friend for one of my finals. he looked especially hot that day. ooohhh, way cute. but if we only stay friends i'll be cool with that. i'd be really nice to have a relationship with him though. ak!

I'M DONE!!!!! well actually i was done yesterday but i was too busy packing. i'm going to nebraska tomorrow. bleh. i'll be in the middle of no where for 3 days. hopefully i'll find a good book to buy at the airport. i had actually hoped to borrow this book from tex that he kept raving about but i don't think he realized i was actually asking to borrow the book. oh well. i'll find something. it's been a long time since i've read for pleasure. i used to do that all the time in the summer. oh well.
i've been doing a lot of thinking lately. this past quarter was... well things are definetely gonna change. i think i just needed to be a little wacko to help me get over some things (aka boyfriend...). things are gonna change. i'm gonna change. so now there's this one guy... who's really great and i've really started to become good friends with him lately. but he thinks i like some other guy and i may have screwed things up for any chance between us. ugh. i don't know what to do. oh well. things will work themselves out. things are gonna be different this time around.

From Jeff C. in response to my question in my profile:
If space was finite, what would
the edge fo space look like?

sb dodger 81: it would look like the cliffs on DP, it would be beautiful at first, but once enough people fell off you'ld get scared

I don't quite get it. I am smarter, fitter, and bolder than my potbellied brother ever could hope to be, yet he gets all the fame, fortune, and glory, not to mention Peach's heart. If only I was the first player in Super Mario Bros... things could have been different. Maybe I can make a comeback, now that I finally have my own game.. but probably not. After all, I'm just Luigi.

What Super Mario Bros character are you?

ak! my pstat final fucking sucked ass. but i think i did ok on most of the questions... just not the one's worth more. ugh. at mikey's right now. he and jason are fucking drunk. jason did power hour. fucking wasted. haha. i should be studying for my art history final... but i'm not. i have to rethink a lot of things. a lot. i'll figure it out eventually... i guess. i wish things were easier. fuck i don't know what to do. i need to have a talke with myself about what i want. i know what i want... yet i don't. fuck! i need some guidence. 1...2...3...maybe 4. shit, don't know what to do. can't really explain. oh well... ask me if u really wanna know. shitiness. why do i do this to myself.

saw ryan at work today. damn, why is he so cool and so hot...1
tex just stopped by... post final cig with mike...3 & 4
ugh... so much more to say and no way to say it.... oh well. i take things too personally and i'm a fucking drama queen i guess. i wish it was easier.

fuck! i'm so confused. i don't know what i want or what to do. if i knew what was going on things might be clearer but i'm gonna be a chicken for a while. i'm so lost. the last few days i realized that i might like this really great guy but my flittering to and fro may have ruined any of my chances. and i wish i knew what was gonna happen with me and jim. fuck! someone's pissed at me for something that i can't control, yet i can... but i shouldn't have to stop for someone else's sake... but i hate it when people are mad at me. fuck!

other randomness:
jason's hair looks really different short. he looks better with longer hair (i kno, i never thought i'd say that about a guy)
mike is with burl. YAY Mikey!!

Dr Claw09: i shaved my head!
Dr Claw09: ahahahah!
EliseNicci: what!!!!
Dr Claw09: nothing like getting drunk at mikes house

well that was a fucking mood killer! fucking bitches!!!!!

creepy man came back to work today. i ran. ewwwwww!! there have been a few things that i've been forgetting to mention.
1) saw UCen cutie kevin again this weekend. i was walking to campus cuts to get my hair cut and he stepped out of UCSBrews just as i was walking past. talked with him for a bit. totally bummed cuz he's graduating and i won't see him anymore. oh btw, i love that i can walk to get anything. it's awesome.
2) my art studio teach liked all of my projects. said no one had ever brought real live fish to use with their projects before. (it was a pain in the butt cuz the "fish bowl" kept leaking) he liked my 32 hands too. i have 2 pieces in the undergrad art show on friday. i asked him what my grade in the class was and he said probably no lower then a B+. yay!
3) talked to two old friends, who i haven't talked to in a long time, recently. mike tsiang and roman altenbach (i kno i just spelled both of their last names wrong). it's been a long time since i had talked to either one of them. i miss them both, they're both really cool guys. mikey = kalan's class buddy and car accident partner. roman = ex-boyfriend and hot fireman. i'll try and post some inserts from their convo's if i get a chance
4) patty from the admin office has breast cancer. i think she'll be fine. she has to have surgery soon but they caught it early so it shouldn't be a big problem, i hope. patty's the best. she can handle anything.

i like guy. friend likes guy. friend has liked guy since before i even knew guy. so i back off from guy. again. i wanted to be single for a while anyways. oh well.

EliseNicci: hehe. well please "look out for him" in my direction

Goose the Force: sleep is boring
EliseNicci: only cuz nothing happens
Goose the Force: maybe i could make something happen
Goose the Force: by controlling my dreams
EliseNicci: u could probably influence your dreams. like if u watch a lot of porn before going to bed, i'd bet u'd dream about nakedness
Goose the Force: got to be careful about mixups though
EliseNicci: how's that?
Goose the Force: like if I watch porn and then talk to ari
EliseNicci: HAHA

EliseNicci: are we ever going to hang out anymore, or are u just going to ignore me?

Auto response from EliseNicci: I love to ate ate ate apples and bananas... i love to eat eat eat epples and banenes... i love to ite ite ite ipples and baninis... i love to oat oat oat opples and banonos... i love to ute ute ute upples and banunus... and sometimes y...
Goose the Force: hahaha
Goose the Force: that's my favorite away message ever
EliseNicci: u like?
Goose the Force: strangely aroused

KingGringo: bah humshit
KingGringo: she can kiss my fat hairy ass

ok. i'm kinda annoyed cuz i don't really kno what to put in my blog right now. can't really put thoughts together so i guess i'll just ramble. so... a correction from a blog a few days ago... i went to see star wars with Ari. i forgot to mention i went with him. sorry babe! i've been partying a little too much lately. tried to keep it chill last nite, so i didn't drink too much. but then today rolled around and the laker game was on and tex said they were having a keg at his house and well... i got trashed. but had major fun. tex's house is always fun. talked w/ jim a bit. way cuteness going on there, and majorly tall too. always a plus. i think it's getting easier to see the other stuff, kinda figured out why it was hard. and daniels' the only cool/nice guy cuz he's the only one who asked about the other thing. so the rest of u all suck. also it sucks cuz sometimes i just want to hang out with someone but i can't tell if this someone doesn't want to hang out with just me (for many various reasons i could name) or if this someone just has been to busy to hang lately. i wish i could just get the truth. this someone doesn't have to lie to me. ok... enough with the drunkin ramble.

something kinda creepy happened at work yesterday. definetely freaked out.